It’s OKay.

Do you have your hazmat suit ready to go? 

I went to the store all suited up. I kinda have a safety routine going now. Strange times.. It gets me as I put the gloves on from the trunk of my car and then I forgot to hit the LOCK button on the key fob then I have to take the glove off.. Carefully so I don’t contaminate.. Sheeeshshh.. I know everyone is better for it, but man.. That’s a hell of a lot of energy! So then I completely forget the most important thing that was on the list for someone else at home and I get the dirty look. Siiggghh. I know that I did my best. That’s all that matters.  I’ll do better tomorrow. It’s OKay.

I’d been working my fingers to the bone writing all kinds of trainings and upping my skills for a while now. A few months ago, I was with a team of other trainers and when the day came to present some new material, I completely blanked out on part of it. Yes, I “winged” it, although it was relevant and I was saved by a colleague who stepped in. Expectations were high and for whatever reason, it wasn’t my day. I don’t have a reason, I don’t have a story, I don’t have an excuse. I wasn’t the happiest on that day, but I breathed out and thought.. It’s Okay.

You got a letter from the bank. They charged you a $35 fee because your check bounced. They paid it anyway. That’s cool.. But F*$*!! You made sure… AND… it was on the same day that you deposited money anddd… uugghh.. Nothing You can do about it now. It’s OKay.. you have the $35. Suck it up. Do better next time. You can go and speak to the teller that you’re always very friendly and respectful with. Maybe they can undo it for a “great customer” ! It’s your responsibility to try. Either way, it will likely be OKay. 

You’ve spent a few years telling yourself that , “I have to stop.” “I have to stop smoking, I have to stop drinking, I have to stop feeling like shit, I have to stop feeling bad about myself, I have to stop putting myself in nasty situations, I have to stop getting into all these crappy relationships, I have to stop…”.. and on and on… and on.. And on… 

After years of recognizing this, You/ve made many pretty awesome and honest attempts at achieving said goals. There were years of “oh, I’ll have just one” and justifying the three day bender cause you needed relief from everything that was happening and days that you actually focused on having just that one and still beat yourself up about “messin up”. It’s OKay. It’s OKay

Today, it’s OKay. 

You know that you’re committed to working on a whole slew of things as you continue your recovery. Whatever it may be, YOU have decided. It doesn’t have to be perfect simply because YOU ARE moving forward.

Are you being honest with yourself? Are you making an effort to improve your skills, your goals, your relationships, your behaviors, your attitude.. It won’t be perfect. You know that you can make another attempt tomorrow. Take one step forward.   ….Maybe two steps back? It’s OKay. you’re getting back up again and taking that next step. It’s Okay. All you have to do is one thing. Decide to do so. Take the next step. Onward.

Love Life Today. This Recovery Life.

***Special THANX to Brooklyn’s  Kaiser Cartel for the inspiration ! “It’s OKay” from their debut release. “March Forth”