It’s a normal thing for most people to seek out “instant gratification”. It has been built into our society for a long, long time. In my lifetime, I recall dumping out the cereal box to get the prize, ketchup making everything tolerable, frozen pizzas made in minutes, answering machines satisfying the possibility of that school crush calling and VCR’s taping movies off of cable so they can be watched anytime. Then came cell phones where you didn’t have to call the dealer from a payphone, food delivery so you didn’t have to cook and clean up, the internet, tv on demand, grocery delivery where you didn’t have to leave the house to buy your ramen noodles, booze or ice cream, ipods and now it’s all done from the palm of our hands on our smart phones. Instantly.
These mannerisms translate into most everything else we do where we all want things to happen NOW. I can relate, drugs and alcohol made it happen quite easily. If I didn’t feel good, they would take care of that, in a jiffy! What? I’m having a hard time coping with x, y, z? NO problem! It just struck me that it might have all started with the ketchup. Ha!
We’re at a whole other place now. Ketchup on rice, frozen pizza and vodka in the to-go coffee are just not acceptable processes anymore. We now recognize that there are whole new processes to things that we have to learn and implement. Technically, of course, you don’t have to do anything, but learning to do things differently can be quite beneficial.. Accepting this is the first step in moving forward so that you can build it into the foundation of your recovery.
There are infinite examples that are specific to YOU alone, let alone everyone else, but you might be able to identify with a few: getting upset with a friend and bingeing on sweets, going to the bar, or “cutting them off”; wanting to get in shape and taking the “fat burning” pills you bought online, doing steroids, or just doing nothing; being late for work and lying to your supervisor, not being prepared, or being OK with clocking less hours at the end of the week when you actually need to make more money; avoiding conflict altogether which at times keeps you stagnant, relationship issues unresolved (personal and/or professional), or sending you into isolation; and on and on and on…
Some solutions might look like: addressing the issues between yourself and your friend in a respectful manner so that you may come to a mutual solution, joining the gym and getting a trainer which will facilitate you getting in shape faster than on your own, coming up with different evening and/or morning routines so that you can get to work on time, etc.
What are the things that you need to happen in your life? Who is affected with this on either side if you have/do it or not? What would be the different ways that you can make this happen? Is one way better/faster/healthier than the other? How so? What would your plan of action look like? Are you following your “gut” with this? Do you feel you’re making the right choice for yourself and affecting others in a positive manner? Is there a timeline involved?
Maybe this need that you’re thinking of isn’t on top of the priorities list. What does that list look like? Is this need more of a want?
You are the only person that can make that call. Whatever it may be, take a look at how you’ve been addressing the different things in your life over the years. Redesigning a plan to address them could fortify this foundation that you’ve been working on and facilitate the next situation that pops up. Before you know it, you will have a set of new habits that you will be building with.
After years of reaching for that candy bar, you might just find yourself making a cup of herbal tea and calling a friend.
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