CouchSurfing 101: Getting On Your Feet

Your partner is tired of you riding the wave of goodness in their heart and has let you know that things just “aren’t working out”. You’ve been jobless for over a year and can’t seem to get it together besides making it to the corner deli for cigarettes and a pack of those 25 cent sponge cakes.


  1. make your way to your friend’s house with a six pack of their favorite lager (make sure you like it too, as you might drink most of them) in hopes said friend will let you “crash”
  2. head over to your art space; you can stay there knowing there’s a sink down the hall where you can “wash up” in and the stained couch in the corner is actually “comfy” to you.
  3. swallow some pride and go back to your mom’s house, with the promise that you’ll clean up after the dog, mow the lawn and take the trash out. She won’t even know you’re there since your fave childhood couch is still in the basement and it will only be for as long as it takes you to find your next partner.

You might recognize some of these or similar scenarios in yourself or someone else around you. Unless there is a cognitive change in you to do something different along with fostering a healthier outlook for yourself, then homelessness is closer to reality than not.

Maybe you’ve had a moment of clarity and have made some changes. You’re fully involved in your recovery, but everyone else around you is just used to pointing the finger at you and continue badgering you with their own issues. In other words, you’re changing and they’re not. This might not be the healthiest environment for you. What do you do then? What are your choices?

All of a sudden that couch might be the one that allows you to work towards the person you’ve always wanted to be and root your recovery. This time around you’re likely to do things differently. You might fill the fridge with fruits and vegetables so you can cook your hosts a few nice meals. You’re likely cleaning up after yourself and then some, chipping in some elbow grease with the chores without having to be asked at that! You have a plan and are actually leaving the house instead of denting the couch watching Jerry Springer everyday while packing another bowl (yes, that was once me).

This way, your host is happy to be helpful to you while you get back on your feet. You’re working hard at occupying yourself with positive activities in between looking for your next job and/or place to live. You’re building trust with your friends, building self-esteem for yourself and your family might even take notice at some point.

So couchsurfing isn’t always what it might seem to be. It can be a gateway to your new and improved life if you work it in a positive fashion and don’t overstay your welcome.

What is your problem with housing? What are your options? Can you make a plan A as well as a plan B to work towards overcoming this? Are you the host with that nice couch you let your friend crash on? How can you truly help your friend and guide them in moving forward as opposed to enabling them? If you hope to get a hit of that bowl at the end of the day when you get home, you might want to take another look at yourself as well. It never hurts to do the latter regardless.

If you or someone you love can identify, then please share it with them, leave a comment and like it. Love Life Today. THiS ReCoVeRY LiFE.

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Brad

    Powerful look at flipping the coin to the other side. It takes time for us to solidify new habits and it also takes time for others to recognize these new habits. Good stuff!